Day 693: $£##8@!!!!!! Trim

You'll have to excuse the profanity, but believe me, there was much of that going on during the subject of this post.

After the walls were painted a bright white, the old cornice was looking a little worse for wear. The horribly nicotine stained paint wasn't overly visible against the horrible wallpaper but now it stuck out like a City banker at a Labour party convention.

Before I could tackle the paint, first I needed to patch up all the cracks - of which there were many.

I tried the Screw Fix plaster filler which came highly recommended and some standard Polyfilla.

We really wanted to keep the original plaster cornicing to retain some of the original charm of the room. But it definitely needed some TLC. This is what I had to contend with .. times about 10.

The cracks first needed to be expanded. This may sound a bit strange but I had to take a stanley knife to the cracks to expand them even further. This then allows the plaster crack filler enough space to get into the crack and also something to bond to. 

I'm not joking about having about 10 of these to get through.

The Screw Fix stuff really worked a charm. Goes into the calking gun so it's easy to apply and is completely sandable and paintable. The only gripe is that it does shrink - even though it says it won't. But still I highly recommend it. My only advice is to put a little extra into the crack and leave it proud to be sanded down later.

In the corner, there was a larger gap vs a crack. This was left by the sparkie when he was running the light switch cable. The Polyfilla was a better option here. 

The filling was followed the next day by sanding, and sanding, and sanding. At one point I think I had completely removed my fingerprints. I tried my Tom Saywer trick (see post) but I think Care and the kids were now on to me. Eventually I got there and I had to admit that the results looked good. And no swearing yet.

All I had to do now was put on a little paint and it would be all good.

So I put on a coat of paint. ..

Followed by another coat of paint...

And another ..

And another ... But ..

No matter how much white I put on the trim, the result was always off white. The nicotine kept bleeding through. 

$£##8@!!!!!!

I had to go with the tough stuff .. Zinsser Cover Stain. This stuff is nasty and contains all sorts of laquers etc. But apparently it does the trick on nicotine (and the oil sector needs all the support it can get at the moment)

The stuff smelled up the entire house and I'm sure I shouldn't have been up a ladder when I was applying it. But the hallucinations did keep me entertained for a while :)

In the end, the stuff worked like it said it would. A couple coats of Dulux on top and the trim looked exactly as I hoped ..

Day 683: Whitewashin'

So what do you do with fresh plaster. The answer is nothing. Give it as long to dry as possible. We gave it about 2 weeks before Carolyn insisted on getting her sitting room back. We grabbed a new bucket of ScrewFix's finest new plaster paint. This was the stuff we used on the kitchen and it worked a charm. Below is the rest of the kit - an ever growing stock of poles, trays, liners and brushes. Every time we paint something I feel the need to pick up something new. 

First step was the cut in .. basically painting all the tricky parts with a smaller paint brush before moving on to the roller to move a bit quicker.

Now some people enjoy painting ... they are typically called "artists" but for the rest of us it's not the most interesting of chores. However, in painting the room, I had a bit of a Tom Sawyer moment .. For those that have no idea what I'm talking about, click the link below...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xZm2UOam74

The dialogue went something like .. 

"Daddy what are you doing?"
"Painting"
"Can I do some painting?"
"I don't know, it's very tricky to get right. And I'm very picky with my painting"
"WAAAAAAAAAA!"
"OK, OK, only if you are really careful"
(add a second kid and a wife, with roughly the same dialogue)

And before you knew it, I had a small army painting the room white.

And the pink room was now a white room. With a lovely brownish trim across the top.. But that is the subject of a future post.

Day 677: The pink room

Long time, no post. Before you think that we've been neglecting our DIY obligations, let me tell you that things on the Surbubiton project have been progressing. Things on suburbitonproject.blogspot.co.uk have however been neglected. I think our blogger should get the sack ...

So onto .. er .. um .. September....

We just returned from holiday in Canada to a freshly plastered lounge.. The walls were pink and smooth and much, much less cracky. There were apparently some drama moments with the plastering, but that's another story.

The plaster was still a bit wet in some areas, so we'll need to leave it be for a bit longer to dry. I did however need to clear out all the plaster from the light and power sockets in order to get things plugged back in. A little TLC with a Stanley knife and this was quickly sorted.

The challenge now is how long we can bear having a pink room .. I suspect my stamina is longer than Carolyn's. 

Day 674: The grand re-opening

So our final day on the job. Today was spent putting down the decking boards on our finely crafted, perfectly level and square frame.

And everybody put in a helping hand. The only limitation we had was drills - and later batteries. 

Today's top tip was the use of countersinking screw bits (see below). These rings allow the screw to go flush with the deck - to avoid trip hazards and other RWI's but prevent your super-torque driver from burrying the screw way into the wood causing water pockets and premature rotting of the wood.

After a while, the batteries started expiring (definitely not the workers!). However, Victor kept things moving along with his trusty plug-in drill (who needs batteries?!)

Before it was fit for general use, Montecello Inc management (aka Jen) came to inspect the integrity of our work. 

It passed inspection! (of course) so the workers then tested the load bearing capacity of the corners. 

And voila, a new deck! The pressure treated wood will be left for a year to age before staining/sealing.

The Montecello patio is once again open for business.

And for the record, no adults were harmed (RWI'd) in the making of these posts.

Day 673: Strong foundations

Now that the old deck risk was mitigated, it was time to build a new safer deck in its place. To keep the laborers motivated, the management of Monticello picked up the builders breakfast of champions - Timmys!

Today's task was to build the foundations for the new deck to rest upon and put the supports in place. Safety was the number on priority on the job site as the events of recent days put this all into perspective.

Our architect, Paul Skemer wasn't going to take any risks with this deck. This deck was designed to be strong enough to launch a NASA space shuttle. 

After the workers had finished their glorious breakfast, we got started on the foundations. The blocks were burried in the ground and quite solid. They were designed to carry a 4x4 post. The only issue was that they were far, far, far from being level. The team elected to put the posts in place and run a line level between them to get something more true.

Then we started running 2x8's across the length and width of the porch to create the frame. Of course nothing was perfectly square so this took a lot of moving things around to get right.

With the frame in place and reasonably level and square, we started putting the cross joists in place. These were hung on metal joist supports and spaced to allow the decking boards to be screwed in place. This was where we needed to decide on what lengths of decking boards to use.

A helpful step came in from another Paul in the team - try and avoid cutting boards if possible. Time is money, and cutting takes time. Not to mention the risk of another RWI! On a 20ft span of deck, this meant alternating 12ft and 8ft lengths of boards. All installed with no cutting required. Simples.

And there you go .. a deck frame all completed. Time for a much needed break.

Day 672: Not another RWI!

On vacation, but that doesn't mean a break for the builders ... our work is never done.

Monticello Inc's HSE record was at an all time low. Things started off poorly when Scotty-O knocked his own mother off the picnic table. This definitely needed to be classified as an "incident".

All the caring family members took time to ensure Doris was OK after her epic free fallin' incident and also attended to Scotty-O's arm which incidentally was also "injured" in the event.

Victor then came to the scene to cordon off the area and help with the incident investigation.

But unfortunately, Montecello Inc.'s untarnished RWI count was now reset back to zero ...




















And just when we thought the RWI count was going to creep back up. Carolyn sporting her "sophisticated London look" hoodie and heels went crashing through the cottage deck. Oh-no! The counter was going back down to zero.

Luckily the Monticello Inc. rapid response HSE team was there to quickly cordon off the area to prevent any further incidents.

But it was clear that this deck was now a Purple Risk that needed to be addressed immediately. After the Free Fallin' incident, site management wasn't going to let this one slide. Luckily skilled labour was in plentiful supply at the cottage,

The demo team made quick work of the old decking. To be perfectly honest it was like a North Korean luxury car - kind of functional but you know its going to fall apart on impact. And that it did .. a couple of hits of the hammer and a pry bar and most of it came out pretty easily. 

Of course that didn't stop the workers high-fiving, cheers-ing and admiring our great work.

The building site was closed off to the public to protect against any further injury.

And there you go, the remainder of the cottage deck. Hazard removed. Monticello Inc. was once again safe from workplace hazards. Phew.

Stay tuned for the epic rebuild ... and to find out if there were any further RWI's along the way.

Footnote: For those that said "North Korea doesn't make cars!", they do see link. I've personally never driven one, but I can imagine that in a fight between the rotted old patio and a DPRK car, the deck would win.

Day 657: The final'ish product

Thought we'd finish up with some before and after pictures of the house to highlight the transformation. It's not quite finished as we will do so more beautifying (flower pots in windows, etc) but it's mostly there.

Before

After

And on to the next project now ...